May Every Living Thing Be Full of Bliss

     When I met my late partner in 1990 it took only a few moments to shift from being a regular person going about my day, to being wildly certain that I had met my soul-mate. I was plunged into overwhelming romantic love, totally unable to articulate what I was feeling.
     I was blessed to be in alignment; my journey was unfolding as intended. We had almost 17 years together before my partner transitioned back to the Unseen, and left me, much changed, at a turning point on my life-path.
     I have made many life-decisions since I have been alone. I have relocated and refocused and found a life that brings me great happiness.
     A year ago, in August 2013, I was granted a Quantum Moment and received a download that contained Agape love; insights into cosmic nature; and innovative approaches to Numerology.
     The sheer size of the download was far greater than I was able to process quickly, and the gradual nature of parsing the gift kept me occupied -- and pre-occupied -- for months. The download was unanticipated; rather shocking; and this has not been a simple year.
     In the first days, I was at a loss for vocabulary. In many ways I continue to be. Frequently I am reminded that English, even with all the words it has co-opted from other languages, fails to provide words for much of the work that I do. I am frequently unable to name the internal and intellectual experiences that I have, and the emotions that emerge within me.
     Early last September I tried to describe to my coach the physical response that accompanied my download. Behind my sternum there was heat and pressure, followed by an expansion. I wish I had said that it felt like the blossoming of a lotus, but that was not the image that came to me.     
     It felt, I said, like acres of cauliflowers opening behind my ribs. Cauliflowers! For a long time I felt silly about choosing that label. Then I realized how ephemeral and fragile and short-lived is the bloom of any flower. A heavy, dense brassica, on the other hand, a solid cauliflower, was truthfully descriptive of the sensation.
     In the moments, and the days following, there was nothing delicate about what I had received, and I struggled to understand it, and I struggled to find words that would do it justice. There was gravity and weight. There was depth. I had been entrusted with something so profoundly important that I was not permitted to see it all at once. An energy or feeling or presence had moved into the very heart of my physical being, and I didn’t have a label for it. I had no idea how to convey what had occurred.
     I turned to my teachers and their writings, and found the words Quantum Moment and Cosmic Download. They both fit, and as I learnt about the moments that they had labelled in this way, I recognized my experience.
     The details of what the Cosmos had downloaded to me began to manifest in different ways. I felt blissful most of the time, and it was weeks before I could look objectively at the bliss. The expanded response to the world that expresses during blissfulness revealed itself in the many aspects of Agape Love: the love that is the Source of All and contains all the others.
     I was the prism and Love was the light. I received the white-light of Agape love, and as it entered my physical body it refracted into the brotherly philos; caring pathos; adult eros and familial storge, all of which humans experience and all of which the English language inadequately labels ‘love’.
     It has been a year, now. The path not at all smooth. In the spring I was able to wallow in the storge-love that informs my relationship with my grandchildren. In July I fell out of integrity as I resisted naming the fullness of the Agape that is a part of me now. 
     August 30th 2013 will forever be a before and after date in my life. I was profoundly changed by what happened that day. In the year since, I have learnt vast amounts about myself, in this and other timelines. I have found a new understanding about my human journey. I have discovered teachers who were present all along and yet had not registered in my consciousness. I have an altered understanding of the woman in the mirror – a new appreciation, even.
     I wish I could offer How-To information so that anyone could manifest a download like mine. I can only trust that readers who find the idea compelling have contracted to remain open to the possibilities.
     I cannot be sure whether this is a concept that would have resonated with me, even on August 29th. I do know that I would do it again. If life can become exponentially richer and more textured and more connected in the time it takes for my heart to beat, I could not possibly resist.

     Jo Leath has been supporting clients through change and growth since the 1980s.
     For a consultation, in person or by Skype click here
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The title of this piece is a quote from the Dhammapada.